I listen to music while I write. You may not believe this, but the very second I began this entry, the theme song from my favourite T.V. show of all time began playing."Suicide Is Painless", more famously known as the M*A*S*H theme, is beyond appropriate for today's experience.
The funeral we attended today was for a long time family friend who committed suicide. So, today was a sad day. How does the loss of a friend and the grief and pain that is clearly expressed by their family members and friends affect us?
Loss of life affects every body in the same way. We are all sad, we are all full of sorrow and we are all hurt in some way or another. Whether we are directly related to the person who died or if it's by watching the survivors struggle through every minute just to get through to the next, humanity let's us know that we are not perfect. We are not invincible and it's possible to wake up, say good morning to our son, mom, cousin or wife and go to sleep later that same night with one less person in our life. This is the tragedy that is death.
I saw so many people crying today. A weeping wife, crying kid's, mourning mother, fretting family and friends were all among those who were struck down today by a terrible blow. I had a nice conversation with a friend today about addiction. Her husband has been an alcoholic for years and recently went dry, cold turkey. She told me that every day she prays for a miracle. I commented to her about how important prayer is, how we seek to get strengthened by someone who is greater than us. This is true when we are so helpless to a force greater than what we believe we can handle. Some have shown extreme endurance and strength by overcoming various addictions, while others succumb and allow to be taken away. We all create our addictions. We make the choice to drink, smoke, eat. Very rarely are we forced to do any of that. We make ourselves, we break ourselves and we choose to take back our life when we reach that point where we see that it is in peril.
Why is it that we seem to wait until the last minute before we take action? Or why do we wait until something bad happens before we realise that we have been living blind, and choosing not to see the harm we cause ourselves?
I will not allow that to happen to me.
Tonight I told Asif Premji in Calgary: We don't know what anyone is thinking, but we can love unconditionally. Seize love, make love, give love, take love.
Loving unconditionally includes loving yourself. Yeah, I drank a Ginger Ale today completely unaware that I was consuming sugar for the first time since before I started this diet. I don't usually drink soda's with sugar as I cannot tolerate the sweetness. However I think that I will not hold it against myself. Because if there is anything that I have learned about causing harm to ourselves, it is that I have to forgive myself if I make a mistake, slip up or fall. As long as I choose to get back up again, I am ahead thousands!
Love Love Love
Read Tomorrow's Blog Here! Just Desserts
Read Yesterday's Blog Here! Road Trip