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Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Cycle Two: Activate! Day 13 - Catharsis of My Soul

Hi all!

So what is up with this wind here? It's totally mental and really unseasonal. In all the years I have lived in Westbank, I have never seen this consistently bad. Maybe since I have been in Alberta for the past 11 winters, being subjected to fierce Chinook Winds, I just forgot about what the weather is like "back home". 

I have a stomach ache today. A bad one. I didn't have my usual morning constitutional, even with a little coaxing from some strong coffee. This has completely thrown my system off,
So much so, that today I didn't weigh myself. The only time I weigh myself is after my second BM of the day, which usually occurs between 10 & 11am. I know that talking about these things to strangers is really not a very polite thing to do. I am not trying to be gross. I am trying to address concerns that all of us have, or will have at some point through out our dietary journey. 

Dieting is not easy. Being on this diet is very simple and fulfilling, mainly filling. But dealing with a food addiction is not easy. When we are going through a therapeutic program to rid ourselves of a bad habit, many things occur. We suffer physical symptoms such as cravings, dizziness, acne, headaches, shakes, stomach & muscle aches and digestive problems - all as we are withdrawing the drug from our body. These are real feelings and symptoms. they are not imagined. 

I have been pretty good about documenting the reality of my therapeutic program, describing how I feel the days I suffer from a headache or other physical problems. I don't think that I have been very good at communicating my more emotional feelings about this diet. I don't have much emotion at this juncture. I am neither happy or sad. I feel like a robot. I cannot explain why and when I talk to Irene, she gushes about her joy. I love when she or anyone for that matter is so expressive with their emotions. even after losing 23 pounds, I still have nothing to contribute to that sentiment at the moment.

Am I the only one who is dead from the neck up during dieting? Will I crash at some point and have a catharsis of my soul? Will I ever rejoice at my successes, or will I remain emotionally barren? Just a thought. Or two.

Anyone else? Free game here.

LOL - Lot's Of Love

Read Tomorrow's Blog Here! Good News From Home
Read Yesterday's Blog Here! Losses and Gains

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